Forgiveness
by Rayjah
Summary: Then I will wait here...however long, I will wait.


**A/N:** This was a spur of the moment one-shot. Contains hints of: Light/Van Fang/Van Light/Serah and Snow/Serah.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything.

**Forgivenss**

Odin. A large, powerful, beautiful steed that could only be steered by Lightning Farron. She herself commanded power and beauty in the eyes of onlookers. There was a certain nobility about it, Vanille thought, Lightning was like a Prince fighting to save her damsel, or perhaps a Knight. A Knight. Women couldn't be princes, no matter how hard one tried to justify its possibility and play the sexist card, women could not be princes. But then, Princesses aren't always bound to ribbons and frills like stereotypes lead us to believe, and not all Princes are noble and kind.

So, Vanille concluded, Lightning was more like a Knight upon a fiery steed. She could save, but she did not have the nobility, she was not in the position to keep the one she saved, for that person would indefinitely run to Snow. Lightning could not have Serah.

Why was she so determined to do so? What could she possibly acquire? Forgiveness? Retribution? Even then, she'd carry that weight.

Did she harbor feelings for Serah? Or were they like Fang and her, close enough for the lines to be blurred, yet never crossing over.

She did not have feelings for the huntress, they were friends. An adopted family, at most. Though, it made sense for one to believe so, seeing how close they were. There were moments when she _was_ flustered by Fangs commanding presence, yet even that soon passed when she realized Fang saw her only as a "younger sister".

Undoubtedly Vanille saw aspects of Fang within Lightning. Lightning was strong, protective, stubborn..and even when Lightning thought no one was looking, she'd hold a tiny smirk so _much_ like Fang's trademark grin. She hadn't realized how much time she devoted to studying the mysterious, distant woman.

She began to recognize what certain gestures meant, when she was uncertain of what to do, when she felt no matter how hard she tried she was losing the fight, she'd clutch at the charm hanging from the necklace around her neck.

When Fang and her bickered she would fold her arms across her chest and stand up straight. Though Fang was taller than her, it gave a towering feeling to onlookers, that _Lightning_ was in control, _Lightning_ called the shots, _Lightning_ was the _leader._

Fang was never one to be a follower, yet even she would eventually let go of the argument and halfheartedly accept defeat.

When they set up camp, the woman would ask Snow for the Serah's Tear and wander off. Vanille took it as another question of forgiveness, or perhaps, she felt that the tear was their final line of connection. The final fraying wire, the final thing keeping her since their parent's deaths and the amount of responsibility she had been force to inherit. She became Lightning to _help_ Serah, to be there in her darkest moments. She never realized she was actually hurting her.

But most importantly, she'd beat up Snow because she knew she could never amount to that much for Serah. She would never make her smile, never make her laugh the way Snow did. Like lightning itself, she could never love, she could only hurt. She seemingly accepted that fact without argument.

It was then, sitting that dense forest she had aimlessly wandered off into once they had set up camp for the day that Vanille realized, that _she_ wanted nothing more than to be able to save Lightning. To be her Knight, to be _something._

The damsel that saves the Prince in his darkest moment, she wanted to reach into the indefinite darkness, grab her hand and bring light to her world.

And she would.

Someday, when all of the chaos was over, she would save Lightning.

It wasn't Fang who had come seeking her that night, but a disgruntled Lightning who was wandering in her own thoughts and had coincidentally stumbled upon Vanille's hiding place.

Neither one of them exchanged words, Lightning never being one to talk to people she didn't find desirable enough. It wasn't that she didn't _like_ Vanille, per-say, it was that Vanille often had a tendency to advert away from stifling subjects and hide in happier thoughts.

They were the same, in that Lightning would rather hide in the harsh reality than recall the life she once loved.

V_anille, so much like a princess that would rather remain in her tower, she did not want to be saved, she did want to know the reality, the ruin outside of her harmless hole. _

_Lightning, an innocent-unjustly proclaimed criminal, thrown in a dark cell and accepting her impending death. A l'Cie slave accepting her master's task. Refusing to look back. _

_Neither one of them wanted to be saved, yet desired to save another. _

"This brand.." The silence broke in a hoarse choke, "is the only thing that chains me to this sad world." The voice was tiny, and uttered as though Vanille were speaking to herself, she turned to the soldier and forced a small smile, "pathetic, right?"

Deciding the question was to be remained unanswered, not rhetorical yet not needing confirmation in itself, Lightning silently watched the girl with a set face. Curiosity, the only life sparking in her brilliant blue eyes.

Something about her voice, the way she looked at her, it all sent a shiver spiraling down her spine. It reminded her of a dream.

_Lightning, a frigid Knight._

_Chained to the past, not desiring to be saved. Content in a world of ruin, not desiring to be saved. _

_Odin whinnies softly, the knight reaches down to gently stroke intrepid fingers through the uneasy stallion's silky mane. She knows something is wrong, when the one thing that embodies her existence acts timidly.._

_She is sitting in the ruins of a once grand world, she does not recall how it was before, she does not recall how it all fell apart. An ink-black shadow stretches over the land, it defies the sun's demands and stretches beyond it's reaches, it covers the world. Lightning studies the cause of the shadow, a tall tower, so tall she could never dream to climb it-never reach the treasures within. _

_From within the tower, a brilliant light shines. The woman immediately closes her eyes and shrinks back, as though stricken. **What is this light? What is this warmth?**_

"_**Why are you so sad?"** A tiny voice reverberates in her eardrums, harsh and bright at first, like beautifully ringing church bells. _

"_**I'm not.."** She holds her head in confusion, eyes half cracked adjusting to the odd division of white and black, she looks away to the dark world. **"I'm not sad." **_

"_**This is your world Lightning, destroyed by despair, hurt, pain. You thought by changing your name, you could change your world and become stronger." **The bells do not stop ringing, Lightning grits her teeth and begins holding her head in both hands. She contemplates plugging her ears from the invasive noise. **"You do not comprehend the fact that you have only grown weaker." **The tone soon becomes softer, gentle, sad, **"let me save you..."**_

"_**I don't need to be saved." **_

"_**You wish to remain in darkness?" **_

"_**I wish to remain in reality. I don't need your fairytale." **_

_Odin steps back nervously, Lightning strokes his mane once more, cooing gently. **"Not now...at least.."** The knight mutters honestly, **"there's something I need to find."**_

"_**Forgiveness?"**_

"_**..."** She rolls the question in her mind, was that what she was looking for? She had lost sight of her goal long ago, why was she still wandering aimlessly? It was because forgiveness wasn't something easily found. **"Yes." **_

"_**Then...I will wait here." **The warmth gently caressing Lightning's face slowly recedes. The warrior is filled with regret. **"However long, I will wait. When you find your focus.."**_

"_**When I find my focus...?"**_

"Lightning?" The Orange head, in the midst of Lightning's daydreaming, had left her position and stood before the woman. She studied Lightning's face closely, the woman quickly turned away.

"We should probably go back-before Snow decides to make dinner, you know?"

Vanille watched color return her leader's previously paled face with hidden concern before agreeing. "Right."

"_**...when you find your focus, let's save each other. Okay?"**_

"_**Okay."**_


End file.
